Out of the Ashes Read online

  Out of the Ashes

  Amy H. Lowe

  To all who have

  experienced loss yet

  had the courage to move forward.

  Special thanks to

  Shelby Jane Photography

  for the beautiful cover!

  Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Out of the Ashes

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Chapter 51

  Chapter 52

  Chapter 53

  Epilogue

  About The Author

  Out of the Ashes

  By:

  Amy H. Lowe

  Copyright © 2020

  Amy H. Lowe

  All rights reserved.

  *No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the author.

  Back Cover

  Book Summary

  Adeline…

  I had spent the last several months building a fortress around my shattered heart. I was supposed to be in Atlanta with my husband, not widowed after only a month and a half of marriage. Instead, I found contentment throwing myself into my work and shutting everyone else out of my sorry existence. That was until the day I meet two beautiful twin girls and their matchmaking mother.

  Mathew…

  Mathew Gordan had it all – a great career playing the sport he loved, a family who supported him, and a newly awarded gold medal to validate all of his hard work. He was on top of the world. That was until his world came crashing down in one gigantic swoop. Will Mathew be able to convince Adeline to help him rebuild his crumbled world or will she continue to fortify the fortress she’s worked so hard to build?

  Prologue

  Adeline

  I stood there numb to what I was actually seeing. In the back of my mind, I heard the voice of my husband’s best friend as he spoke of their life-long friendship. I didn’t mean to tune him out. I was just struggling to comprehend my new reality. My life had been completely altered in a blink of an eye.

  The phone call that had started me along this path kept repeating in my mind. I had just walked into my kitchen with an arm full of groceries. Brooks, my husband, had helped me with the shopping list earlier in the morning and requested my million-dollar spaghetti for dinner. He had a big soccer game later that evening and wanted to stock up on as many carbs as he could.

  I hurried to place my groceries onto the counter and opened my purse, pushing the contents around until I finally found my phone.

  “Hello,” I huffed out, feeling as though I had just finished a race.

  “Addie, this is Brian.” Brian Havarti was Brooks’ best friend and fellow teammate on the U.S. Men’s Soccer team and the MLS Atlanta Amalgamated Crew. The three of us grew up together and were inseparable. For the life of me, I couldn’t think of why he would be calling me at this time of day.

  “Hey, Brian. Shouldn’t you be at practice? I thought today was an early one. Brooks left over an hour ago.”

  “Yeah, I’m calling from the field right now.” He paused and then sighed heavily before continuing, “Listen, Addie, there’s no easy way to say this.” He took another long pause, and I was about to break in when he continued, “Brooks collapsed on the field only a few minutes into practice. The trainers rushed to him right away. We called 911,” again he paused before continuing, “unfortunately, there was nothing anyone could do. I’m so sorry, Addie, but Brooks is gone.”

  “What do you mean, ‘Brooks is gone?’ He was fine this morning when he left.” My whole body started to shake uncontrollably - this couldn’t be happening.

  “I’m so sorry, Addie.”

  I didn’t understand anything else Brian said after that. I don’t even remember ending the call.

  Sometime later, I heard the muffled voices of my parents and the sound of my father as he picked me up from the kitchen floor. “Come on, baby girl, let’s get you somewhere more comfortable,” he cooed as though I were a child again. He laid me gently on my bed, where I remained wrapped up in Brooks’ pillow for days.

  I’m assuming my parents and Brooks’ mom took care of the funeral, since I’m here standing in front of a closed wooden casket. I vaguely remember someone coming into my room asking if this or that was okay. I’m not sure if I responded or not. Honestly, nothing seemed to phase me until my mother found me on the bathroom floor this morning.

  It had been five days since Brooks had passed away, and I was emotionally and physically spent. Food had lost its appeal. I couldn’t even look at it without having the urge to gag. I didn’t purposely avoid it; I just physically couldn’t force myself to eat. This morning everything came to a head when I was too weak to stand up. In her no-nonsense way, my mother pushed her way into the bathroom, her hands holding a piece of toast and orange juice. As she spoke to me, her tone was brisk, but I knew she spoke out of concern and love. I could see the worry in her eyes.

  “Eat,” she demanded and then informed me that she was not going to move until I completed the task. The truth was, I needed my mother’s verbal wake-up call and her watchful care.

  Lili Streamer started to sing How Great Thou Art, Brooks’ favorite, snapping me out of my thoughts. She was a fantastic singer who attended the same church as us - or should I say me. I was going to have to get used to that. Her singing was beautiful, and of course, tears began flowing. Feeling a touch on my hand, I looked down to see my mother-in-law’s hand on mine. The human connection was welcome, and from the look on her face, she was struggling to keep her emotions under control, too.

  My focus came back to the song. As I listened to the words, words that I had sung many times before, I felt an emptiness inside. How could a great God – one who created such a miraculous world – allow something like this to happen? Where was He when Brooks collapsed on the field? Why didn’t He do anything to stop it? Why did He take my husband away from me? I just didn’t understand. I was angry and hurting and wishing it was my husband’s hand I was holding instead of my mother-in-law’s. My anger towards God caused more tears. I was pretty much a mess by the time she finished the song. Thankfully, the minister began praying, and then, it was over.

  My father gently guided Marla, my mother-in-law, and me to a waiting car. Brooks’ dad had left the picture when he was a little boy, so it was just the two of them. Before I entered the vehicle, Mathew Gordan, one of the captains on Brooks’ team, a
pproached me. Behind him, several other teammates followed, including Brian.

  “Addie,” he respectfully called.

  I turned and noticed he was carrying a folded white jersey wrapped with string, a card in between. I looked at the items and then the car. I planned to escape. I didn’t think I could handle what the jersey represented, but when Mathew repeated my name, I forced myself to respond.

  “Hi, Matt. Guys. Thank you for coming. It means a lot to me.” The words sounded forced, but they were true none the less. I just wished that they didn’t need to be said in this type of setting.

  Matt cleared his throat and then quietly spoke, “Brooks was a wonderful man and an amazing soccer player. We’re going to miss him on and off the field.” He handed me the jersey before continuing, “This came in the day before he passed. Coach didn’t even have a chance to give it to him. We wanted you to have it.”

  I held the bundle close to me and nodded in their direction. Then, before I knew what was happening, Mathew gathered me into a brotherly hug. When he let go, the rest of Brooks’ teammates stepped forward, and one by one, the act was repeated.

  Brian was last, and as he stepped away, he said, “Whatever you need, we’re here for you.”

  My body started shaking as an emotional sob escaped. Tears began to flow, so I was thankful when my father took control again and guided me into the car. I think the plan was to head back to the church for a luncheon, but I just wanted to go home. I wasn’t sure I could take any more condolences. I know everyone was being kind and mourning as well, but I needed, no wanted, to be alone.

  A few hours later, I got my wish as I walked into my quiet house. Walking to the fireplace, I stopped in front of its rustic walnut mantel and looked at the picture of the two of us from our wedding day. Brooks was so handsome with his sandy blonde hair and angular chin. His blue eyes sparkled as he smiled down at me. We looked so happy together, standing on the front steps of the church.

  We had so many plans. Brooks had wanted to play in the upcoming Olympic games and was so excited when he made the U.S. team just last month. We had planned to start a family and buy a house. We had planned to grow old together. What was I supposed to do now?

  I really didn’t expect an answer, and I knew I had a lot to figure out, but right now, I just wanted to get out of my black dress and curl up into Brooks’ pillow once again. Everything else could wait for another day.

  Chapter 1

  Adeline

  “Addie, you about ready to head out?” Kathy, my boss, hollered from inside her office.

  “In a minute. I’m trying to track down one more discrepancy before I leave.” I worked in the accounting department for a nationwide travel agency doing credit card reconciliations. I know for some, accounting would be the last job they’d ever consider, but I loved it. Numbers made sense to me, and I loved being able to get them to balance.

  Kathy poked her head into my office and said, “Okay. I have a school play to run to, so do you mind locking up before you head out?”

  “Sure, not a problem. Have fun at the play!”

  “Thanks, don’t stay too long.”

  “I won’t. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  She turned and left in a hurry, while I returned my focus to my work. It only took a few more minutes before I found what I was looking for, saved my updates, and turned off my computer. Locking the door behind me, I turned and headed out into the hot, humid evening.

  I had been working for the travel agency for over two years. The agency had offices all over the U.S., so when I decided to move a month after Brooks’ death, they were able to transfer me to their home office in Central Florida. Five months ago, it sounded like a great idea. Still, on nights like this where it felt like a sauna, I seriously questioned my sanity.

  I headed to my old blue Chevy and manually unlocked the door. I should probably trade it in, but it was the first car Brooks and I purchased together. It wasn’t new when we bought it. We bought it from my parents, so I had a lot of good memories in this car, and the sentimental value far outweighed the few bumps and bruises it had acquired over the years. After placing my purse in the passenger seat, I closed my door and proceeded to start the engine.

  Nothing.

  I tried turning the key again, thinking I hadn’t done it correctly the first time, but the result was the same. Awesome, now what?

  “Think Addie,” I whispered to myself.

  I didn’t know very many people in the area yet. I had my boss’s number, but I didn’t want to take her away from her daughter’s play. She was the only one from work whose number I had. I hadn’t gotten to know my neighbors well enough either, and while back home I had a whole community I could call, here I was completely alone.

  Normally I would have said a quick prayer, asking for help, but God and I hadn’t been on speaking terms lately, so I wasn't expecting any help there. I grabbed my phone and then climbed out of my car. I closed the door with an exasperated sigh and leaned against the car while I began to scroll through my cell contacts. No one stood out.

  Fabulous! I did not want to get stuck in this part of town after dark. My options were slim. I could walk back to my office and spend the night there, or I could try and find someone to give me a jump start.

  I wasn’t completely ignorant when it came to cars, so I was pretty sure it was just a battery. If I could get it to an auto parts shop, I could have someone check the battery out for me and replace it. I should have listened to the warning signs and taken care of it before today. I didn’t want to spend the night at the office, so I started looking around. I saw an older, distinguished man heading towards his silver BMW, so I hurried in that direction.

  “Excuse me, sir,” I hollered.

  He lifted his head and quickly responded, “I’m not interested.”

  Really? What did he think I wanted? Never mind, I didn’t want to know.

  “Um, I’m not…”

  The man effectively cut me off by climbing into his car and shutting the door – rude. So much for help from him. I thought this was the South, home of southern hospitality. I guess he didn’t get that memo.

  Not seeing anyone else around, I walked back towards my car. Time for plan B. I grabbed my purse from the passenger seat and locked the door. As I started walking towards the elevator in the parking garage, my phone rang. Brian's face showed up on my screen. What was he doing calling?

  “Hello?” I answered with a slight question to the greeting.

  “Hey, Addie! How are you doing?”

  “I’m hanging in there. Right now, I’m dealing with a slight situation, but overall, I’m good. How are you doing? It’s been a while since I last heard from you.”

  “Really? Anything I can help you with?” Brian must have zeroed in on the slight situation because he completely ignored my question.

  “Not unless you’re in Orlando.”

  “Well, actually, that’s why I’m calling. The team's in your neck of the woods for a game tomorrow, and we’d like you to come watch us play.”

  Watch them play? I hadn’t been to a soccer game since Brooks passed away.

  The thought of going and watching made my stomach curl in knots. Brooks was the best soccer player I’d ever seen play. I still remember the first time I went to one of his games in high school. He was so cute when he purposely asked me to watch him. We were only freshmen, and I wasn’t expecting him to get much playtime, but to my surprise, there he was center field getting ready to start the game. After watching for a few minutes, I don’t know how I could have doubted his abilities. He was by far the best player on the field.

  “Right now, I won’t be able to go anywhere unless I get my car to start. Any chance you’d be available to help?”

  “One of the guys rented a car so he could visit his sister. I’ll see if he can give me a ride. Where are you at?”

  Breathing a sigh of relief, I responded, “I’m in the parking garage under the Sun Trust building. Go up two levels,
and you’ll see me by the elevator.”

  “The Sun Trust building – is that the one with the four points on the top?”

  “Yep, that’s the one.”

  “Okay, we’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  “Thank you, Brian.”

  I hung up, feeling both relieved and nervous. It had been over five months since I’d last seen Brian or anyone else from back home, including my parents. I was relieved he was coming to help, but I was nervous about all the memories he would stir up.

  Chapter 2

  Mathew

  Mathew Gordan was loading his gear into his rental when Brian approached. It had been a while since he’d been back to visit the Sunshine State. He was a true Floridian through and through and didn’t move out of the state until he made the major league soccer team in Atlanta seven years ago.

  “Hey, Matt! Any chance you’d be able to take a detour before heading off to your sister’s?” Brian asked.

  Matt looked down at his watch, then scratched the back of his neck. He was supposed to be at his sister’s house for dinner in forty-five minutes, and she lived clear across town. That didn’t give him much wiggle room. “I’m supposed to be at my sister’s house for dinner. Did you need something?”

  “It’s Addie. Her car broke down at work, and she needs a lift.”

  Matt had forgotten that Addie had moved to Central Florida. The last time he saw her was at her husband’s funeral. That had been pretty rough. Her tears had nearly done him in. He often wondered about her, and how she was doing.

  “I’d be happy to help. Let me call my sister and let her know I’ll be late.” Matt quickly made the phone call and explained the situation. Once that was settled, he opened the driver side door and climbed in while Brian did the same on the passenger side.

  “Where’re we going?”

  “She’s in the parking garage under the Sun Trust building downtown.”

  “That’s not too bad of a drive, right off the interstate. I think we can be there in about five to ten minutes.” Mathew backed out of his parking space and proceeded to pull out onto the busy road.